Emory Rosenow

Category: Mr. Butters

  • Advice for New Cat Parents: Health and Exercise

    Welcome to the highly anticipated fourth (and last) installment of my hit series on Taking Care of Your Cat. We’ve already covered Food, Litter, and of course Hygge, so last up is the (I guess other) big H: Cat Health.

    Why Talk About Health?

    Ok in case you’re genuinely asking this question, let me break it down for you. Health is basically how alive you are or are not. Because we love our cats and their warm snuggles, we prefer them to be more alive than not alive. Therefore, we must try to maximize their cat health.

    The requisite CHONK Chart, provided in HD by our dear anonymous friend @R2Bl3nd on imgur

    If you recall from my post on cat food, which you of course read, about 60% of cats in the United States are overweight or obese. That’s three out of five cats who are Chomnk or above. (Interestingly, those numbers are about on par with the national human rate.) And while internet humans are in awe of the size of these lads cats, the cats themselves are often in awe of how much their joints hurt and how young they’re going to die. There’s more to the weight equation than just what and how much food, though. Just like humans need exercise, so does your cat, and having the run of the house isn’t enough.

    Beyond weight, there are other big issues to be aware of in the health of cats, such as their major diseases and common maladies. Being aware of their triggers and symptoms can go a long way towards making sure that you’re able to avoid and treat them, giving your cat a much better quality of life.

    The Chonk Problem

    Once again, let’s assume that you want your cat to not only live as long as possible, but also live as well as possible. This means making sure that your cat has the right amount of food and exercise to allow for maximum cattitude. What’s cattitude? I’m defining it as the ability to be a fully realized cat, able to run and jump and sleep and knock things over (you know, cat things) without hinderance: a cat of health. A HEFTYCHONK is going to have serious issues with running and jumping. A MEGACHONKER might start having issues with sleeping, or at least the breathing part of sleeping.

    Obese cats are at increased risk of fun things like diabetes (yes, cats have that too), arthritis and other joint conditions, and urinary tract diseases. They’re also less likely to have the energy to want to play, which is sad. What’s the point in living if you only eat and sleep?

    That said, getting your Chonk to slim down is a gradual process. Trying to rush it can lead to other problems like malnutrition and hepatic lipidosis. Make sure to consult your veterinarian when starting any new diets.

    Exercise

    Housecats are more at risk of obesity than their outdoor brethren (although overall life expectancy is still longer for indoor cats). Why is this? Because they simply do not get as much exercise as outdoor cats. They don’t have to chase down their food, they don’t have to fight for prime alley space, they don’t have to patrol extensive territories. We have built a wonderfully cushy life for them in our homes, and they understandably like to take full advantage of that.

    Therefore, we need to force them to get off their lazy bums.

    Sure, some cats are more naturally active, just as some people do Ironmans (Ironmen? [I just looked that up and Wiktionary tells me that either is acceptable.]) for funzies. Most cats will need some encouragement, though. There are MYRIAD cat toy options (although that section in the pet store is always smaller than the dog toy section not that it bothers me). Track your own cat’s tendencies. Does she like to climb things? Definitely try a cat tree*! Does he like flying targets? Try a classic feather wand! Does he attack and eat crickets? …Actually I don’t have a suggestion for this one, someone please find something and tell me about it.

    If you have a Fat Cat, it might be really hard to motivate them to do anything cool at first. They’ll lay there and look at the ribbon that you’re waving ever so enticingly and go, you want me to what? Nah, I’m good. The only real solution is to keep trying. And they’re going to get bored quickly, and you’ll think that you’re an abject failure. That’s not true, and I know that because you’re trying in the first place, and that’s Huge Step No. 1. Just don’t quit.

    *If you have a truly fat cat, please make sure that your cat tree is structurally sound and (I can already hear IKEA salivating with excitement at this) properly anchored to a wall if necessary.

    Health

    Step One of health is to take your cat to a vet. They literally exist to monitor and maintain the health of your cat. They are your first and best resource for all things well-being related.

    That said, now listen to me, the random internet person. Most cats adopted from reputable sources will have at least some prior medical care that you can build off of. If you surprise adopted your kitten from the mean streets or from CraigsList, make sure to take them in to a veterinarian for a thorough check-up and vaccinations. Feline leukemia and FIV are common among outdoor cats, as well as the more stereotypical fleas and other topical afflictions. These tend to be easier to prevent than to treat (FIV actually has no cure yet), so get those vaccinations.

    If you are making the (dumb) choice to allow your cat to freely roam the outside world, you can get a chip implanted as well. You can obviously also chip an indoor cat, just in case he goes rogue.

    Your vet can also recommend tailored care of your cat. This can include anything from weight loss regimens to reducing your cat’s stress levels to potentially mediating inter-pet disputes. To reiterate, your vet is your first line of defense of your cat’s health.

    Home Care

    At home, your job is to make sure that all the basic systems are working as intended. Long hair cats often need supplemental grooming, and short hairs usually enjoy it too! Fat cats often need help keeping the far-flung regions of their body clean (yes I mean their butts). Nail trimming is I know an oft-fraught endeavor, but it’s also very important for overall paw health that the nails not get too long. Active cats with non-soft surfaces generally naturally keep them short enough, but not always. Scratching surfaces can help, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and deal with it. Your vet might also recommend brushing your cat’s teeth, which is always fun.

    You also need to monitor your cat’s health. This includes knowing that she’s keeping a regular bowel movement schedule, watching that his coat stays healthy, and noticing if she has any sudden behavioral changes. These can all be signs of health problems.

    Advice Wrap-Up

    Mr Butters cat hamsom face
    Dreaming of food

    Having a pet is fun, but it also entails some work. If you’re new to the cat scene, it can seem a little overwhelming. However, I believe that just knowing what to expect gives you some ease of mind. I personally jumped in blind, a rare move for me, and so a lot of what I’ve written has been informed by my own experiences and research. I have a Recovering Fat Cat, so naturally I emphasized that. But I hope that this can give a starting point for newbies and maybe some fun new tidbits for veteran cat parents!

    Now go forth and Squish That Cat.

    Like what you’ve read? Then read more like it!

    • Great Books Roundup of 2021
      A bit overdue, but here we are. 2021 has definitely ended. Probably. If you perchance wish to bury your face in a book (which would be weird, considering how great the world is right now), hopefully you can find some here that pique your interest — or that you might now know to avoid.
    • The Story of Democracy?
      Let’s go win democracy! First you find your Main Character, then you fight your battle harder than the others, then YOU HAVE WON!
    • Who Are You, or Is Your Personality Your Facebook Profile?
      Is it possible that, by sectioning off parts of your life (facets of your personality?) that you aren’t being true to yourself? Could it be the case that when you behave differently around your children compared to when you’re at work you lack integrity?
    • The Reconciliation in Truth and Reconciliation
      Last week I started in on the topic of Truth and Reconciliation by examining the truth. Now it’s time for more thoughts on reconciliation than you ever cared to read! In order to reach reconciliation, we must first have a common truth, a common history. After all, what is history but the story we tell to explain our present? The dead don’t care what we say.
    • Truth and Reconciliation: Thoughts on Truth
      If you’ve been here before, you know that I like musing on basic subjects: fear, isolation, motivation, fear again. For my sanity, I’m going to break my thoughts on Truth and Reconciliation down in a similar way. The logical place to start then is with truth.
  • Advice for New Cat Parents: Hygge for the Holidays

    Advice for New Cat Parents: Hygge for the Holidays

    If you haven’t yet been introduced to the wonderful concept of hygge, then allow me to usher you forth into that delightful realm. Hygge is the Danish concept of well-being and comfort. It’s what they use to get themselves through their long, dreary winters, and also to add joy to the rest of the year! The Danish traditions center around coziness, company, and candles. What does this have to do with advice for cat parents new and old? Picture your stereotypical cat, curled up in front of a fireplace. Hygge. Cats are natural connoisseurs of hygge. They appreciate the fine life of comfort and warmth and good company (their definition, of course). So, even if you’re somehow not sold on hygge for yourself, try getting hygge for your fancy feline friend!

    A Hygge Cat

    Cat hygge does of course vary slightly from the human form. (Notably in the candle department: most cats aren’t the best of friends with candles, not only in the open flame department, but also in the scent department, if you’re using scented candles.) Cats need a comfortable environment on their terms. This means feeling safe and being provided for, with all their needs met.

    Hiding Spots

    In addition to the placements of food and water and litter that we’ve previously discussed, cats need a safe space to hide when they feel the need to. It can be annoying when you pull out the carrier to take your cat to the vet (for example) and she suddenly disappears, but the solution is not to get rid of her hiding spots altogether. Rather, the solution is to curate these hiding spots. Know the kinds of places she likes to go to hide, and provide her with a selection of these. The key is knowing the spots where she might be, and making sure that in a pinch she’s still accessible to you.

    If she’s an under-the-bed hider, try to get a bed with just enough clearance (or get risers for the legs) that you can reach under it. If she prefers closets, make sure that there aren’t corners that you can’t reach. And if she hides on top of the fridge, have a stool nearby that you can stand on. Basically, know where she might be, and be able to reach that spot.

    What makes a good hiding spot? Cats naturally tend to go up to look for hiding spots. They also prefer a small place with more than one escape route, like under beds. Your cat might also like to have a spot where he can see without being seen. This would be a spot that’s not in a remote part of the house (like true hiding spots), but somewhere that he can just take a break from the noise and action. Mr. Butters likes to use pushed-in chair seats at the dining room table for this. There, he can still see and hear what’s going on, but he’s pretty well hidden.

    Hygge Accessories

    Because you’re a Good Cat Parent, you probably want to get some awesome accessories for your kitten. What makes a Hygge Cat Accessory, though? Are there cat candles? (No.)

    Your best bet is a soft, fluffy cat bed. Some cats don’t go for these, but most will. Find a bed with three higher sides and put it in a spot out of the way of main footpaths but not completely out of the action. If your cat doesn’t go for this, try changing up some elements: in a warmer spot, with lower sides (so he can see out), or less fluff. If you have multiple cats, watch to make sure they’re not fighting over cushion space, and if they are… I don’t know, I just have one cat. Good luck.

    The other obvious accessories are blankets and sweaters. Many cats like burrowing under blankets. If your cat is among this population, make sure you check for catlumps before flopping down on a blanket. Fewer cats are fans of sweaters. Hairless cats like the extra warmth, but don’t be surprised if your fluff-haver prefers to be in the nude. Go ahead and try that sweater out, but don’t force him to wear it.

    cat Mr. Butters blanket hygge
    A hygge blanket

    Hygge Company

    This part can get a little hairy. Different cats have different company preferences. Some like to have another cat around, some do not. Some are good with children, some prefer a single adult and no more. However, very few cats don’t like company at all.

    If you’re introducing a new member into your household, make sure to do it gradually and give your cat (or cats!) places to take breaks from the newness when they need to. Let them maintain their hygge as much as possible. Unfortunately, we can’t always provide the right home environment for our cats. Families sometimes find, after having children, that their feline companions aren’t fond of the urchins. Figuring out what to do in these situations is, let’s say, difficult.

    When Hygge Goes Missing

    How can you tell that your cat isn’t happy? First, you have to know your cat’s baseline behavior. Problems are often revealed by changes in behavior: hiding more, less sociable, loss of appetite. Inappropriate urination is also a big sign of problems.

    Cats instinctually hide their pain. This is why it’s important to be familiar with their normal behavior, so you can notice more quickly when something changes. That’s not to say that every change means something bad: cats go through moods too. But keep an eye on patterns and variances just the same!

    Thinking Hygge Cat Thoughts

    A hygge cat is a happy cat! While we (as non-Danes) don’t always think very much about hygge concepts, they are quite important for having a happy cat. You might also find that, when thinking about hygge for your cat, you start adopting some hygge for yourself as well! (Bonus!)

    If you haven’t already checked out my other cat parent advice posts, links are below. Otherwise, Happy (Hygge) Holidays!

  • Advice for New Cat Parents: The Litter Box

    If you’re adding a new feline friend to your family, one important (and also everyone’s favorite!) consideration is the litter box. What kind of litter should you use? Where should the box go? How many should you have? While there are plenty of other resources out there for Cat Advice, this is your fun and exciting source for thrilling topics!

    So embarrassed

    The Litter

    Unless you’re that rare breed of human who has fully toilet trained their cat, you get to have a litter box. (Or unless you have exclusively outdoor cats, but frankly I’m really not addressing you.) Ever since our dear friend Ed Lowe invented Kitty Litter in 1947, we have had a viable option for keeping cats indoors. We now have many more litter options than Ed’s original Fuller’s Earth solution, which means you have options!

    What kinds of litter are there?

    The basic options for litter are clumping or non-clumping, and what material (clay, sand, plant-based, etc). Clumping litters are generally easier to keep clean, as you simply scoop away the urine clumps with the poop. With non-clumping litters, the material absorbs the urine and generally falls to the bottom. That means that you’ll have to do full cleans of the litter box more often with non-clumping litters to avoid the dread puddles at the bottom. Non-clumping litters also sometimes rely on added scents to keep smells at bay.

    Environment

    The main factor for which material to pick is probably environmental concerns, with dust level coming at a close second. (With regards to the latter, I have yet to meet a truly dust-free litter; however, you do have to look out for those really dusty litters out there, just waiting to ensnare you like your nephew’s interactive diorama of the Dirty Thirties.) Clay and silica sand are both mined, often in open pit mines (domestic clay, including the bentonite clay used to make clumping clay litter, is almost exclusively strip mined). While clay litter is not biodegradable, there are some silica options that are.

    On the other hand, there is a wide variety of litters made from “natural” ingredients such as paper, wood, wheat, corn, and walnut shells. These generally have a smaller environmental footprint than traditional clay litters. If that’s your concern, make sure you check for things like recycled paper or sustainably-harvested wood. With these kinds of litters, though, you do have to watch out for allergens in both the cats using them and the humans scooping and living around them. There is always dust.

    Convenience

    Let’s be real, though: the actual main factor in choosing a litter is convenience. Why don’t more people use the environmentally-friendly options? Because they can be an absolute pain to work with. Paper and wood are typically in pellet form, often bigger than your typical scoop will filter out, so you end up tossing out clean litter with the poop. Additionally, they aren’t usually as absorbent, so urine doesn’t get “locked away” (as advertisements like to phrase it). The pellets break down when they get wet, so unless you’re super on top of cleaning, you end up with a base layer of urine-soaked litter scraps at the bottom of the box (yum).

    The non-clumping litters are less sanitary, as the urine stays in the box for much longer, sitting and breeding bacteria. This also requires more scent control with either perfumes or odor absorbers like baking soda. Non-clumping silica is slightly better than the “natural” option non-clumpers as the urine is actually absorbed, and you can stir it around to encourage evaporation. Bacteria can and will still breed in these conditions, though.

    What’s the best litter?

    The best litter is the one that matches your requirements. If you’re cool with spending the time cleaning, try one of the plant-based litters. If you’re less on top of cleaning, a clumping option might be more your speed. Also take into account your cat’s preferences. Many cats don’t like the big pellets, and the larger-crystalled silicas can be both sharp and weirdly crunchy under your cat’s paws.

    If you want to try out a different litter, transition between the old and new gradually, much like how you would transition between different foods. Add some of the new stuff in with the top layer of the old, and gradually increase the proportions. Always make sure that your cat is comfortable using the litter box during this process. Don’t use clumping litter for kittens under four months.

    The Box

    Hopefully now you’ve picked a litter. Now you get to pick a box! I personally use just a simple deep-sided tray-style box, which can hold enough litter that it doesn’t tip over when the Great Beast steps on the lip. Covered litter boxes can be helpful for odor control or keeping small children and dogs out (some dogs really like monching cat poop). However, some cats won’t use these boxes, especially if they feel trapped in them. Cleaning them also takes an extra step or two. Auto-scooping boxes work with only some litter options, and the sound of the mechanism could potentially scare your cat away from the box.

    Where does the litter box go?

    Cats prefer litter boxes that meet the following criteria:

    • Away from their food and water
    • In a quiet, low-traffic area
    • Not in a corner or closet where they might feel trapped (two escape paths)
    • Away from scary loud machinery
    • Not on carpet (both for the stability and for the avoid-letting-your-cat-know-that-carpet-might-be-more-fun-and-comfortable-to-pee-on)

    Additionally, consider having a litter box on each floor of your house if you have a senior cat. If you have more than one cat, have n+1 litter boxes, and place them so they are, if not in different rooms, at least not touching.

    Why is this a post?

    Yeah, I know, this isn’t the sexiest of topics. However, as far as advice to cat parents goes, this is pretty important. (Obviously, I’m writing about it, I think it’s at least a little important.) As I have decided to give advice, I am going to be thorough about it, because That’s Just How I Be. So check out my thoughts on food and water, and watch out for more awesome advice heading your way!

  • Advice for New Cat Parents: Cat Food

    Advice for New Cat Parents: Cat Food

    This is a popular time of the year for adding furry friends to your family. While there are practically infinite resources out there with advice for new cat parents, I have by request tried to distill some essential points for these mewly-minted owners. Experienced cat parents are also welcome to read and possibly learn! These are based on my own research and experience as a sudden rookie pet owner. I have broken it down into several easily-digestible (GET IT) parts. First up is CAT FOOD.

    Cat Food

    Let’s start with the basics. Your cat will need food and water. This is non-negotiable. What is negotiable is exactly what you feed your cat. There are so many options available now, from MeowMix to organically-sourced grain-free single-origin probably-artisanal fresh raw food. As this hilarious Atlantic article points out (using the phrase “human-quality meat” in a way that made me do a double take), there’s a growing trend for super high quality pet food. Gone are the days of merely choosing between canned or kibble. Now there are also raw and freeze-dried raw options, and for each of these categories there are o p t i o n s.

    Nutrition is a wonderfully murky subject, full of misleading claims and questionable research funded by Interested Parties. In the human world, Big Sugar (and Corn) successfully led a charge against Fat for decades that’s only lately being dismantled. The food pyramid that you probably grew up with is now a plate with a much smaller portion of carbs. With all the research that has gone into human dietary needs constantly changing the picture, it can be hard to know what to feed yourself, let alone your cat.

    To Feed, or Not To Feed

    Because pet food isn’t governed nearly as strictly as human-grade food, the industry is a bit of Wild West free-for-all. The FDA does have rules for nutritional labels, and there are some regulations established by the Association of American Feed Control Officials that many pet food companies opt into. However, what is good for your cat? There are lots of articles online about feeding to your pet’s natural diets: as cats in the wild are carnivores, then you should feed your pet cat meat only. Because they are carnivores, they can’t digest plant-based proteins. Therefore, you shouldn’t feed your cat those foods that have a ton of grains in them. Right?

    On the other hand, these carbs can probably be processed in such a way that your cat will be able to derive adequate nutritional content from them. On the other other hand, many of these studies are funded by and pushed forward by Big Pet Food companies who have a vested interest in keeping their traditional grainy kibbles on the market. Similarly, many veterinarians are sponsored by Big Pet Food companies. This isn’t to say that your vet doesn’t know what she’s talking about when she recommends food, though: almost all vet med programs in the U.S. include some kind of nutrition course.

    So, what on earth should you feed your cat?

    Feed within your budget, for starters. There’s no point in going broke trying to feed your cat. I would personally avoid the bottom-shelf options, which use fillers like cellulose which is literally sawdust. I don’t know, maybe it is digestible, but I just feel like maybe we can serve our furry overlords better than that. Try to find a food with meat as its first ingredient, or at least the second ingredient. There are a lot of options out there that use human-food fads as a selling point: be aware that the healthy thing for you to eat isn’t always healthy for a cat.

    Another consideration is ease of feeding. Kibble is the easiest form of food to feed your cat. It’s completely shelf and bowl stable, and you don’t need to do any prep work with it. Canned is the next easiest: all you really need to do is pop it open and plop it down. Your cat might appreciate some presentation (aka break it down so it doesn’t look like the classic cranberry sauce at Thanksgiving), and maybe warm it up. If you don’t feed the whole can, refrigerate it. Frozen is a little more work than canned, as you have to defrost and warm it each time. However, it’s still pretty easy with a microwave. (Without a microwave is, I can attest, a slightly more laborious endeavor.) Raw is basically as easy as canned, unless you make yourself. It is however much less shelf-stable.

    Decide which of these fits your lifestyle best. Most companies make multiple options, so if you find a brand you like you can explore their options easily.

    How should you feed your cat?

    I think this is a more important consideration than just what. Sure there are some cats out there that do fine with a full bowl of food and are able to self-moderate, but I don’t think they’re the majority. And even if your cat does well with that, I will gently suggest considering an alternate feeding strategy.

    First off, it’s important to monitor how much food your cat eats or doesn’t eat. Loss of appetite is a common symptom of Something Wrong, so you’ll want to know about it as soon as possible. This is more difficult if you use the full-bowl method of feeding. On the other end of the spectrum, if your cat is anything at all like my Sweet Butter Boy, you will need to portion their food for them. As of 2018, about 60% of cats were overweight. Make sure you know how much you should be feeding your cat, and stick to that amount.

    Secondly, be aware that while your cat probably appreciates sitting down to a bowl full of food, this isn’t necessarily the best way to feed them. Cats still have all their old wild hunting instincts. Making more of a game out of mealtime might be much better for your kitten! This includes things like feeder balls, puzzle bowls, or hidden kibble mice. It takes some work to get your bowl-fed cat used to other feeding methods, but they’re often happier for it. These are also great for slowing down scarfers!

    Water

    For all cats, but especially for kibble-eaters, it’s essential to have access to fresh water. They can get much of their moisture requirements from canned or raw foods, but not all. If your cat isn’t interested in her water bowl, there are a few things you should check.

    One, don’t place the water bowl next to the food bowl. Cats instinctually avoid drinking where they eat. Two, make sure that the water is actually fresh. You should really change the water and wash the bowl about every other day. Three, consider getting a pet fountain. I know this seems a little ostentatious, but if your cat is still eschewing his bowl of water for drinking out of faucets, it might be that he would prefer to drink moving water. Again, this is an instinctual thing: moving water is safer to drink than still. Four, don’t put the bowl in a corner. Especially if you have multiple cats, don’t place the water where they’re forced to turn their back on the room to drink. Drinking is an inherently vulnerable state, so try to give your cats a defensible from which to partake. (This goes for food as well.)

    Where I live, we have very hard water. I switched to using filtered water for Butters, and he now has less eye boogers. Just a little anecdote for you.

    My Thoughts on Cat Food

    I have tried many different options for feeding Mr. Butters. He’s a Fat Cat, so the goal for him is always weight loss. He was on a prescription diet food for a while, but that was having exactly zero effect, so I switched to a high-protein grain-free food. He is now down about five pounds, and has a super healthy pelt (no more dry skin!) and is more active on this food. I feed kibble because we play a lot of games with his food, and you just really can’t toss around canned food like you can kibbles.

    Ultimately, find what works for both you and your cat. Many cats do have dietary sensitivities, which often manifest as flaky skin or G.I. issues. If your cat has these problems, you can try experimenting with different protein sources (chicken vs. fish vs. duck) [are ducks fish chickens?] or different additives/binding agents (corn vs. soy vs. peas). Also, do consult your veterinarian. They know more about cat health than Google does.

  • Mr. Butters: Essential Objects

    Mr. Butters: Essential Objects

    Everyone has some essential keepsake objects they would grab in an emergency: grandma’s ring, photo albums, that signed piece of cool memorabilia, whatever. What you reach for can say a lot about you, so choose carefully or we’ll all judge you. Today we’ll find out what Mr. Butters considers essential, and you can judge his choices!

    Mr. Green

    Is he a seal? Is he a dinosaur? The world may never know. What we do know is that he is very green, and an essential companion to Mr. Butters. Mr. Green moves about mysteriously, only when no one is watching – and you never know where he is going to show up next! It’s unclear what exactly Mr. Butters thinks Mr. Green is (prey? kitten? friend?), but they have some sort of close connection.

    Mr. Butters Mr. Green
    Mr. Green at the vet

    Scratcher Tunnel

    Mr. Butters holding court
    Greetings, Human. Welcome to my office.

    An important part of any cat’s collection is a scratching post of some kind. These provide a place to stretch and play and release aggression and, yes, scratch safely. Cats have scent glands in their paws, so this is also a way of marking their territory. Even though he’s too big to use it as a tunnel, Mr. Butters enjoys using his scratching tunnel – especially when catnip is involved!

    Cat Bed

    This soft, fluffy bed is a newer addition to the collection, but it has quickly become a Mr. Butters essential! It’s the perfect size for a Butters-size cat, which also means it’s big enough for a person to use as a chair – which is good, because that’s what it took to convince Mr. Butters that it wouldn’t eat him. Even if he doesn’t use it at night, because sleeping close to his people is more important, this cat bed is great for those all-important daytime naps!

    Time for Thoughts: What do you think these say about Mr. Butters’ priorities? Think about what you would consider to be your essentials, and what you think they say about you. Does that accurately reflect how you see yourself?

  • Meet Mr. Butters

    Meet Mr. Butters

    You’ve met me (or close enough), but now it’s time to meet someone much more exciting: Mr. Butters! Please hold your applause and spontaneous cries of wonderment though, as this cat is not a fan of loud noises.

    A Refined Feline

    Cat Mr. Butters face
    Mr. Butters, judger of all

    Mr. Butters is an 11-year-old tabby cat who loves snuggles and food. Officially he is a domestic shorthair, but you can tell from his upright bearing that he is descended from noble stock. He will let you pet his belly if you ask first.

    I adopted Mr. Butters in 2016 from a very loving home that unfortunately could no longer provide what he needed in life. Sometimes, when he stares off into space, I wonder if he’s missing them. How good it is to be so loved that you can be so missed!

    A Comfortable Kitten

    Cat Mr. Butters shows off belly
    Classic Mr. Butters pose

    You’ll notice that Mr. Butters is aptly named, being less of a fine boi and more of a heckin’ chonker (for the uninitiated). He was closer to a HEFTYCHONK when adopted, and we’ve been working hard to get some of those extra chins excised. For anyone who has attempted this journey before, you’ll know how hard it is to get cats to lose weight (but how easily they put it on!). So before you get upset about animal abuse or glorifying fat cats, let me tell you that we are doing our best to address the issue.

    A Cautious Cat

    Exploring outside
    Mr. Butters cautiously exploring

    Mr. Butters is a very cautious cat, but he does enjoy exploring outside under supervision. It’s fun to sniff all the things and pretend to ignore the chittering squirrels and nom the tasty grass! In the summer, he likes to sit by the door and yell until someone lets him out, which is not at all annoying.

    Mostly, however, Mr. Butters likes snuggling and being near his chosen people, as long as they are being quiet and not doing horrible things like practicing musical instruments. Keep an eye out for more on the Buttery boy!

    Cat Mr. Butters snuggling
    Mr. Butters snuggling happily. Don’t get sucked into his whirlpool belly!